overheard in southeast asia

Since I am flying out of Bangkok tomorrow morning (and yes, I intend to make this flight), I thought it would be appropriate to share a sampling of the numerous, eh, colorful (??) conversations I've engaged in or have been a subject of thus far during our travels.

Well, actually, before I continue, I should preface this post by explaining how well I truly blend into my surroundings here. I have been mistaken for a local in every country we've visited except, ironically enough, Vietnam. There have been many occasions where a local server has had difficulty understanding one of our European friends' English accent; of course then, it's only logical that said server should turn to me and continue the conversation in his/her native tongue. I am all about complete cultural immersion these days, eh?

All names have been omitted to protect the offenders. But alas, not their nationalities.

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Vietnamese street vendor: Who is that girl over there?
Family member: Oh, that's Pooja. She's Indian.
Vietnamese street vendor: Oh. I knew that. But what is that girl next to her?
Family member: Um, well, she's not mine. She's half Filipino.
(Yes, that would be me standing next to Pooja).

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Dutch man: So what's your name?
Me: Jessica.
Dutch man: No, really, what's your name?
Me: Jessica. Jerkface.

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Dutch man: So I know you hate me but one last question. What color are your panties?
Me: Die.

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British guy: Excuse me.
(I'm sitting at a table at a hostel in Chiang Mai reading a newspaper. I look up).
British guy: Do you have any rooms here available tonight?
Me: Ummm, why don't you go to the reception and ask the guy who actually works here.

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British dude: I would pay a good amount of money to watch you strip.
Me: Die.

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Irish guy: I don't understand why it's so offensive to you that people would mistaken you for a Thai prostitute?

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If only we could sometimes be lost in translation with other English speakers...

Cam on, Vietnam.
Khap jai lai lai, Laos.
Ar kun, Cambodia.
Khap khun kha, Thailand.

It's been fun.

Love,
Jess

(I miss Pooj).